"Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly...even though you're feeling deeply. Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them. I was so preposterously serious in those days... (and) there are quicksands all about...That's why you must walk so lightly." Aldous Huxley
I have loved these words of Huxley's. Yet, it was just not "presto" learning to "lightly let things happen and lightly cope...," especially in the situations that thwarted or wounded me. I had to grow considerably before discovering a level of living where grace rides gently, leaving me the freedom to follow such wisdom.
Initially, I thought "darkly" only resulted from what happened outside me. Then I learned that was not true. As the cartoon character Pogo observed, "Ah, I have found the enemy. It's me." And it was. Only to discover later, I have the power and choice to do something about me. Starting to hunt those shadow parts, I found their gems of understanding and compassion made a fun friend for myself. My moments were beginning to flow, ebb and dance on a river of taking things lightly.
However, like Huxley, I was, at times, "so preposterously serious in those days." Even little mistakes, too often, were weighted as if they were "crimes against humanity." They certainly did not encourage a "light and merry" anything. Yet, stepping back, I began to notice that some mistakes resulted from naivety, inexperience and lack of development. Some mistakes were simply
"bad calls" which I delightfully learned did not make me a bad person. Identifying these gremlins proved to be solid-gold learners. The universe loves giving out second and third chances. And I love taking them.
However, one cannot force their growth. I'd love to be wonderful and fully enlightened. Yet, trying to arrive before I have arrived is like wanting my emotional or spiritual plant to produce a flower before it's time. Maybe my developmental-stage is first to create a beautiful "leaf". Accepting where I am
is comforting and confirming. Then, a wonderful, sacred and growing self comes out to play and I am on my way, again.
photo source: nancy10 - fotolia.com