Friday, May 23, 2014

Maybe our abundance...

What gift can we hope to bring to dying?
Maybe our abundance...?

Her daughter's voice is stressed as she tells me on the voice mail the chemo is no longer working.  The doctor gives her mother, my cousin, two weeks to three months. I replay the message, the date was three weeks ago! It's hard to draw my breath.  She was doing well when I had talked to her several weeks before I left Tucson.

I dread making the call. Her daughter answers. "How is your Mum?" I ask.
"She is right here do you want to talk with her." Surprise, she was in hospital at the time of the phone message. My cousin's voice is strong. I hear gladness and caring as she ask in her matter-of-fact way, "How are you, Augusta?"

Turning the conversation back to her, she tells me the doctor's news. Then she observes softly, intimately,  "And we both know where I am going." I hear the love in her voice and her deep knowing.

"I agree." I respond. "However, as we've talked before, it is 'this side' that is hard to leave."
"It is." She quietly asserts. I hear the passion. We need say no more. We both love the physicality of life. We have had numerous discussions about the "other side" through the years and share the same knowings and guessings.

She then tells me of the wonderful visits she is having with family and dear friends. Plus, she is almost through her business files which she was working on with her daughter when I called. (One of her goals when finding she was ill.)

On hanging up I tell her I will be up within the week (another province). Knowing her house is full -- a drop-in visit but no meals. She insist I stay over night. I balk. She states in a voice that rings truth, "I feel fine. I am not sick. " She may die before night-fall from illness but she is not sick. She is offering her abundance... I agree to lunch.

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** a continuing journey from the writings "the crossroad...",  September 9, 2013, "death as the advisor"..., November 29, 2013

Friday, May 9, 2014

meeting Mrs Thor...

"There are an infinite number of parallel realities co-existing with us in the same room."
Steven Weinberg, Nobel Prize for Physics (1979)

Last night, walking up a grassy hill, each blade of spring green caught the sun light. Then suddenly I "bi-located" and was standing in this living-room that had a 1940's feel to it. A woman was walking toward me. I wondered who she was. Looking directly at me, she reached up with both hands and held me (as if in place) by the upper arms, stating, "I am Mrs Thor." My body felt the greatest sense of largeness.

I knew I was asleep yet here I was awake, in two places at once.  She began to talk on "such neat stuff," expanding me beyond my own limited consciousness. Excitedly, I kept telling her, I will remember this and "take it back." Then in the middle of her talk a thought interrupted my resolve.

Earlier in the day, I had been puzzling about how real are we without our skin and bone bodies? Are we still in human form when these fingers typing become dust or ash? As a kid I would look down at my toes, stomach and think I feel much bigger than this little body. Now here was my chance. Interrupting her, and feeling the solidity of her hands on my arms, I asked, "Do you have a human body?" She paused, gave a little laugh, shook her head slightly, looked directly at me and said distinctly, "No, I do not." In glee, I lifted off the floor and did the funnest, air-born 360 degree back-flip.

I woke wondering how come the bed wasn't levitating as I felt so much zing and caring-essence. Then the thought, "Oh my gosh, this must be the start of going 'down the rabbit hole.'"* As science now tells us we live in a multi-dimensional universe. The world-view has changed since I went to school, even since university -- the world is no long round in it's non-physicality. Matter and spirit are one. Ultimately, there is no solidity, merely denser or finer energies, faster or slower frequencies.

Modern science invites us to go "down the rabbit hole" beyond logic and reason. My grandchildren via Skype or I phone instantly, after pushing a button, walked down my deck steps last week to see the blooms on the prickly pear cactus growing in my Tucson yard, 3800 miles away. An unthinkable feat of energetic transference ten years ago. And what will be next?

Maybe we are 99.9 % star stuff -- dancing energy. Maybe certain (lucid) dreams are actually visits to parallel realities as some scientists suggest.** In my limited-everything view, I can only guess. Yet in essence, I am not bones, toes, fingers, or any other organ. The more dense (anger, fear, etc) I am the slower my frequency. Rocks have a slower frequency than air.

However, my vibration feels finer when I am connected to source and consciously in spirit. Through meditation, joyful purpose, laughing, loving and even soul-full sadness the denser me changes into "light and wing" accompanied by an inner ability to do a leaping back-flip. Thus, when this human, seemingly solid-body becomes dust maybe my frequency will be finer, faster so I can go "down the rabbit hole" again and visit Mrs Thor.

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*Reference from "What the Bleep Do I Know?"... a movie about the recent discoveries in quantum physics

**Fred Alan Wolf, a physicist specializing in the relationship between consciousness and science