Saturday, April 14, 2018

Life’s a schoolroom for our human lessons…

Life is a schoolroom for our human lessons…
                                                 ~ The Cottage Woman

Many of the questions I asked the cottage woman (personally known as Metude) were for the people I was working with who were seeking spiritual and personal development. As I began to visit her, I recognized the wisdom she offered others could apply to me or anyone as it was generic in nature. During the five years of visits, she continued to emphasize that we are here to learn and that life and its situations are indeed a school room for our human lessons.  (Names, of course, are changed to protect privacy.) 

Below is an excerpt from a dialogue in reference to a friend who felt weighted and stressed by her family's needs and demands. Many of the questions I asked the cottage woman were requested. Then, in the visit, I would initially describe the situation to her as I did below, even though she seemed to know their situation better than I

 "As you are aware Metude, Pam wants your comments on how she is doing. And I might add, if it were not for her husband exerting his unhappiness and needing to control her, her children never doing a chore, and her mother and sister calling with their complaints, life might be more livable. Yet, she can not seem to say 'no'." 

My old friend is quiet as she begins to rock, then replies, "The body (Pam) is weak, must protect itself from exhaustion. Your friend accepts too much responsibility. These family situations are given for her to work with, but not to own themMuch confusion over loving someone.  She suffers from stress and must get rest. She has not learned yet to set aside what is stressful and what is not to own.  And because she doesn't, it causes her a great deal of pain."
 "Yes, true."  And I feel bad for her. 

Looking to see if this ancient woman shares my feeling, her face is expressionless. She merely continues to explain, matter-of-factly, "It is her learning.  She must set stress aside and go for her strength.  It is inward.  She sees stressful situations as pain and pain only.  She has difficulty getting past the situations and that compounds the problems.  Must learn to pace herself and take time for herself.  She lacks discipline which is much needed in this area.  It is the next hurdle she will work onlearning patience with herself and mainly, learning there is more to life than giving.  She must take time for growth and her needs.  

Metude pauses, then reflects, "Yah, tis goot.* She is beginning to see this. Although hard on herself and not able to live up to her own demands, yet, she is quite goot at healing herself.  She must hear this." 

"But Metude, Pam is really stressed about Frank in particular. He blames her for his unhappiness."

"She is learning. As the stress increases, it is how the human lessons are fortified." Hmm, everything seems be a human lesson.
 "My land, I never thought of stress working for her."
 "Only when the pressure is on will she learn to deal with the situation. Both parties are learning. One (her husband) is learning to be independent and make decisions. The other is gaining freedom but freedom is not gained without pain. We will proceed." Imagine, stress and pain functioning to pressure her toward freedom!  Yet it makes sense, as when the pressure is on, I get more work done. Also apparently her increasing independence is helping Frank to be more independent. 
However, I must remember, my negative thoughts about Pam's troubles weigh her down.  It is definitely a lot harder to find positive thoughts when in pain or watching someone else's. 

Her words did remind me of an earlier visit about a young man I had been working with.

"I have another person I am concerned about Metude. He is under a great deal of stress. He is only young but he feels tired all the time and cannot sleep. Is he sick?"
 "It is as it must be. When you are concerned for him it weights him and adds to his weariness because you do not see it as positive but as sick, which adds to the negative force. You must help others to change their perspective. Sub-consciously, he knows you fear for his health."  Oh, the power of thought and my genuine concern weights him and adds to his weariness… And this is my human lesson. Imagine, can our thought be that powerful? This is a fascinating concept: my genuine concern can add an emotional weight and negativity to my young friend’s spirit. This, of course, applies to Pam, myself, and everyone else. If I look at the situation as negative she is telling me I add to another's weariness and burden.

And decades later, I have concluded as Buddha did 2500 years ago, 

We are what we think.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.”   
                                                             ~  Buddha

*The cottage woman always pronounced good as "goot".